Emotions

Life is like a roller-coaster ride, everyone has their ups and downs. Some stay up longer than others, and vice versa. Im going to blame the destructive weather we've been having; I'm down.

Played basketball the other day; did nothing. Downloaded some old school games I used to play back in the day; Diablo II. Made a Necro, went out of town, killed 2 of those little red creature things and uninstalled it. Watched The Watchmen, sucked. Started watching Terminator Salvation, turned it off 45 seconds in.

I'm sure everyone's gone through this a few times, nothing seems to pick me up. Spending time with my girlfriend does the trick, but I end up in the dumps as soon as I leave. Sometimes I find myself daydreaming, and when I snap out of it, I can't even remember what it was I was so preoccupied with. It feels like somethings missing.

Summer vacation... yeah right. If you can call working 40 hours a week a vacation. But no complaints, because I mean... you gotta get paid right? Word. Well I don't know what it is...

Maybe it's because I'm not really living. I mean, naturally, there are things I want to do, things I yearn for. I've got dreams; aspirations and goals, maybe I should start living towards these things.

I want to skip work and have a picnic. I want to sing a song for someone. I want to go bike riding. I want to play tennis. I want to eat a fat steak for lunch. I want to host a party. I want to be enthralled in a conversation about the meaning of life. I want to spend time with my childhood friends. I want to watch the sunset/sunrise. I want to eat candy for breakfast, and pancakes for dinner. I want to cry on a shoulder, and I want to be the shoulder to cry on. I want to be someone's mentor for a day. I want to learn something new and exciting, like how to ollie on a skateboard...

But for some reason, I can't make myself do these things. Life is full of responsibilities and obligations... so where do we go from here?

Manning up...

Why My Life Sucks as explained by...

Young Kim

"I will explain why your life sucks, by asking just three questions;

1. What was the last thing you spent money on that you really wanted?
2. How much money do you currently have, after working 40+ hours a week for 2 years?
3. When are you getting the MacBook that you've wanted since last year?"

DEXTER SPOILER

So... this video is a bit of a spoiler for those of you who haven't reached season 3 of Dexter, but I just couldn't resist. This is just a great scene for any show, for anyone. For those who are caught up to Dexter, and/or for those who don't watch the show; scroll down and enjoy :)










































"Most actors toil in obscurity, never stepping into the spotlight, but if you hone your craft, work diligently, you might just find yourself cast in the role of a lifetime."

I watch this clip and for a second, I imagine that Dexter isn't Dexter, but the actor Michael C. Hall. He gives such a brilliant performance that I forget that he is playing the role of a sociopath that is incapable of expressing emotions. Then it hits me like a ton of bricks; this is Dexter Morgan talking, the serial-killer. His inner monologue solidifies the fact that it is all a lie. He considers himself an "actor." He claims to have honed his craft and worked diligently for years, and that he has finally find himself cast in a role of a lifetime.

Is Dexter finally feeling love? Or is this what he wants to feel? Does he truly consider his life an unanswered question? Or does he simply believe that this is what it feels like to be in love? Is Dexter Morgan, the serial-killer who is/was incapable of feeling... falling in love? Or is this just another event that he uses to sharpen his acting skills?

+15

So according to my scale, I now weigh 170lbs. Which is 15lbs more than what I weighed a week before winter break. Looking back at my logs from the Core days, looks like I was pretty lean, and somewhat in-shape. I went from 165lb to 159lb in about a week then gained some weight/muscle and went up to a nice, healthy 163lb benching; 4-sets/10-reps @ 135lbs.

I benched the other day at Body Chemistry in Norwood. 2-sets/10-reps @ 95lb, then 3rd-set, I was only able to do 8-reps @ 115lb... how sad haha.

I'm slowly, but surely changing my eating habits as well. I still don't eat breakfast, which is not good, but for lunch I generally eat healthy- grilled chicken salad, grilled chicken sandwich, or just a protein bar- while drinking 16oz protein shake about 4-5 times a day. It's definitely vomit inducing, but I try so hard to keep it down... just because I hate wasting money, and throwing up would be wasting good protein, which is a waste of money.

Some people have told me lifting is a waste of time and money, but I don't know... I think I've been a lot more sluggish since I've stopped working out. I remember I used to work out Mon, Wed, Friday and go to school full time, work 35hours a week and still go to the city. I would only get about 2-3 hours of sleep a night, but I was never really too tired... but once I stopped working out, I can barely make it back home from the city at like 3A.M.

I guess I'm working out so I can have a longer/more active day. Sure, working out takes up a good 6 hours out of my week, but it also gives me the energy to stay out later and go through my day with less sleep... AND I will look good :)

At this point, I am kind of embarrassing myself with the light-weights I'm using at the gym, but hopefully within the next two weeks, I can actually use "real" weights and not look so dumb while working out. If anyone knows of any good-tasting protein shake/powder, and protein bars, please let me know... because the stuff I'm taking right now is really disgusting and I am pretty much as close as I can get to vomiting every time I eat my protein bar or drink my shake.