Sure I can cry on your shoulders, but why would I want to do that? Why would/should I pass my burden onto you? At the end of the day, there is me, myself, and I.
So I had a pretty terrible week. I received a 20% on a quiz in my most difficult class, Calculus. I don't know why, but I just find Calculus so hard... I am struggling a lot and have had thoughts of giving up... a lot, but I'm still trying. Then my gym closes down, without any notice. Just a simple note on the door saying something about not being able to re-new the lease to the b
uilding. What does that have to do with me?! Give me my money back, and if there was a problem with the lease, let your members know ahead of time, don't just put a damn piece of paper with an apology (unless its got money for all of it's members). Then I find out I got scammed out of $215 on eBay, which left me without a phone (well, I have a phone, but its literally 6 years old). On top of that, I received a parking ticket in the city (It was my fault, I should have read the signs carefully before parking... but still lol).
All in all, a good day's work for that little brat called "Bad Luck" that likes to follow me around from time to time. I guess in a way... I have matured a bit. Maybe a year ago, or even a few months ago, I would tell everyone in the world (just my buddy list actually) that I was having a problem. I would look for sympathy from everyone/anyone I knew, but instead I am just tired. Not physically tired, but just emotionally drained(?). I am just tired of complaining. I'm tired of things not working out. Its like being wrapped in a layer of ennui. Under this layer, rests angst, and irritability. How can just four days bring so much discontent? But for some reason, I don't give a crap. I mean, life is hard... by no means do I expect everything to work out the way I want. If that were the case, I would cry my eyes out everyday because my dreams of living in a house filled with hundred dollar bills is still just a figment of my imagination lol.
Money seems to be a major topic these days. Probably because the world is pretty much failing financially. Some may know this, but my dad (who is the major bread-winner for the family) is in the automotive business... and for the past five or so years, he's been affiliated with General Motors. Which, if anyone has picked up a newspaper in the past year, would know that they are in a heap of trouble. Yes, my dad being a part of G.M and their financial situation has affect my family as well. I feel it on a personal level. So over the past year or so, money has been a major issue for me. Sure, it seems like I spend money like it grows out of my ass, but I work for it. I put in a majority of my time into working for this money I like to spend (mostly on useless luxuries). I'm not killing myself at my job, but it still takes up 30-40hours of my week, which I would LOVE to spend playing basketball, or catching up with friends, or putting all of my efforts into my academic career. But I have chosen that money is more important than some things in life. That's probably why I feel like this week has been sucking. I am failing Calculus... and it sucks not because I'm failing a course, but because I am wasting money on credits that will not even count. Getting a ticket sucks, because it costs my hard earned money! And getting scammed sucks because I got NOTHING for my hard earned $215!
"They say money can't buy happiness. Look at the fucking smile on my face! Ear to ear baby!" (From the movie: BoilerRoom. Which I highly recommend to anyone) That is the life I want to live. I've heard that money isn't the most important thing in life... this may be true, but to me, it's one of the top three. And if you tell me it's not on your top three, then you're a liar. My money got me my $300 jeans. My money got me my Infiniti G35 Coupe. My money got me my $200 Armani necklace. Money DOES buy happiness. You all shoulda seen my face when I got my G. Or my face when I purchased my first nice piece of jewelry. "Ear to ear baby!"
Though I may seem like a pompous, money-hungry asshole, it's taught me the valuable lesson of moderation. Spending in moderation. I know, I splurge unnecessarily, but when I need to save, I save baby! I
've told myself I will NEVER get into debt. That's why you will never see me asking anyone for money. I'd rather starve than ask someone for a dollar for a pop-tart. I'd rather walk than ask someone to borrow busfare. This is a valuable lesson, one that I wish to have learned years ago, when I would spend my parents' hard earned money on the most irrelevant, useless things. I remember not eating lunch for like a month to save up for a GameBoy, which I played with for about five days. I now the importance of money, and the monetary value of everything. Money makes the world go around, money makes me happy, keeps us all happy.
So am I happy right now? I'm pretty emotionless right now actually... I have some money in the bank so I can afford to pay off this ticket, and I can afford to take the $215 loss as a lesson learned. But what erks me is the fact that it happened to me. Getting scammed is like someone spitting on my face. I feel like this seller walked into my home, tracking mud throughout my house, walking into my room and spitting in my face. And all I can do is watch. That is what bothers me the most. The ticket, not so much. I pretty much went into somebody's house and used their toilet, and now i'm paying for leaving a mess... lol. That's how I see it. So with all these emotions running crazy throughout the past four days, I am just drained. No emotion left to express. No sense of anger left. No more sadness to mope in. I'm just down... and out.
A mature, composed, well-rounded businessman?
Maybe I'll somehow find the cure to cancer, and retire early and just fish all day.
