Top 5: Ways to Show You're a Gentleman

What kind of girl would fall for the self-centered slob from the pub? A real lady needs a real gentleman. Gentlemen, for centuries have been praised upon by women and men alike. Women want to be with gentlemen and men want to be gentlemen. Some guys think they know what it takes to be a gentleman; show a little attention to her and open a few doors for her and boom, you're a gentleman... I don't think so. What most men do to become gentlemen, like talking about sentimental topics, or having "girl talks" only makes them gentle men. Well here are some pointers on differentiating between the gentle man and the gentleman. Follow these steps, and you will be on your merry way to becoming a real gentleman.



1. The umbrella

Sometimes the umbrella is just not big enough to cover both of you completely. In this case, a gentleman would obviously lean the umbrella towards his lady friend. Guys, getting a little wet won't kill you, if anything it'll get you some extra points for later that night when she sees that you sacrificed a shoulder for her to be nice and dry. A true gentleman is always thinking two steps ahead.

2. Walking on the sidewalk

Most men don't know this, but making sure the woman is on the inside of the sidewalk is crucial. Don't ever let her walk closest to the street where cars are driving. Holding her hands will make her feel safe, but make sure you let her know, if there is any danger, she is farthest from it. And if there was any imminent danger from the street, you are there to protect her. Attention to minor details such as this is what distinguishes a gentleman from a gentle man.

3. The towels

Again, the gentleman is always keen on details. When a woman steps out of the shower, you should be there to hand the towels to her. I say towels and not towel because a woman needs two towels. We men just use one big towel but, we don't have those lovely long locks like Rapunzel. A woman needs a towel to dry her body and another one to wrap around her hair. Details gentlemen, details!



4. Offer your jacket

The weather seems a bit more chilly than what the weather said, and your lady friend really seems to be feeling the wind chill. No worries! Because she is with a gentleman, and he is not afraid of the cold. Offer your jacket, but NEVER let her know that you may be cold. Don't show her any signs of the weather getting to you, and don't remind her of the weather. Simply let her know you are okay, and make sure she is warm, that's all you care about.

5. Introduce her

When attending a social gathering, its your duty as a gentleman to introduce your lady friend to the rest of the crowd. It's not about flaunting her, but more about letting her feel comfortable. Having her stand next to you while you talk to your friends is rude and very disrespectful. She doesn't need to be treated like a trophy that you carry around. Make her feel comfortable, let your friends be her friends. Briefly introduce her to the others, making sure she is physically included in the conversation.

Kobe Vs LeBron?

hmmm... maybe its <3 Kobe & LeBron <3

The Chills

Lebron vs Kobe. Kobe vs Jordan. There is no one that is better than Kobe Bryant in the NBA right now. Just stop. Lebron is a good player, and hes the best team player. But Kobe Bryant is the best player in the NBA right now. Kobe is just the most versatile player; hes got his mid-range, 3-point shooting, explosive drives to the basket, elusive moves to the basket and just overall determination. I mean, sure Lebron is good, Jordan is a legend. Kobe Bryant is a cocky player too, but he has every right to be. If I was as good as him, I'd let the world know too. Just watching Kobe dominating the NBA gives me the chills.

It's a shame Michael Jordan is not playing anymore, but I guess Kobe Vs. Lebron in the NBA Finals will have to do. Maybe this will be the definitive year for Kobe. To silence the critics and it can finally be set in stone; Kobe > Lebron

Let's Go

The Lazy Roadblock

There are multiple phases in a relationship. There is the beginning phase, where one has to initiate the relationship and both must work to begin the lasting relationship. There may be gifts involved; flowers, candy... the works. This is a very exciting phase, very fun and new. There is no expectation, no pressure and no hesitation involved, only adoration and dedication. This phase is quite simple and most people understand that hard-work is a requirement for this stage.

Then we move into phase 2, which is a bit more tricky. This is the part where two people become intimate and start to feel comfortable with each other. Some people see this phase as a freebie, a stage where both partners can set their relationship on cruise-control and feel the breeze in their hair. WRONG! This is a critical phase in a relationship and here's why.

As a guy, being comfortable with a girl is the greatest feeling ever. Having someone you love be a best friend to share all your secrets with, and to talk to her about anything is a wonderful feeling. But there is a fine line between being comfortable and being lazy.

Most girls will find their mates to be lazy in this phase. The guy might start dressing differently; she will see a little less of his nice jeans and shirts, and a little more of his sweat pants and hooded sweatshirts. She will begin to analyze his actions which may seem lazy to her. Calling/texting her only twice a day, rather than every hour or so from phase one.

Whilst the girl is seeing this in her man, the man is simply in a phase of comfort. Maybe he will call her less when she's out because he trusts her. Maybe he will dress a little differently because he wants to show that it's okay for her to let her hair down too.

Obviously, the juxtaposition of the two ideas creates a conflict between the two partners. It's hard to pinpoint when this situation occurs in phase two, but its important to know the resolution; communication.

Yes, it sounds very cliche; "communication is key to a healthy relationship." But it's true! How will she ever know that he's not being lazy if she doesn't give him a chance to explain his new- unattractive- behaviors? How will he ever understand her coldness towards him if he doesn't ask?

By talking about the situation and the changes that have occurred in the relationship, both partners can properly access the problems infront of them. If the guy seems to be lazy, he needs to remember that he needs to show her as much love as he did in phase one, that just being in a relationship doesn't mean the showering of love needs to stop. He could use a little reminder himself that she is his beloved and that he would do anything for her.

She would understand that the guy's expression of comfortability is a bit odd. Then she would begin to accept his actions and understand that his motives were not to be faineant. Maybe this way, she will realize that maybe she is expecting too much from him and come to terms that she is not in the relationship for the things he did for her, but simply out of adoration for him.

So in this difficult and tricky stage of the relationship, communication is crucial. Take the time to sit down and talk it out. Don't do anything irrational, calm yourself, keep your head up, be optimistic, give each other the benefit of the doubt, and talk it out! Always remember; there IS a phase 3. Don't be lazy, and make reaching the next phase both your goals.

Do Work

I remember the days of listening to this hardcore band... I know they are a bit crazy looking, but like they say; "don't judge a book by its cover." As crazy as they appear, I honestly think that they are very very musically talented. They also put on one hell of a show. I personally haven't been to any of their shows (I'm kind of scared to be killed by a mosh-pit) but from the hundreds of videos I've seen of their live performances, they are incredible. They just somehow capture the audience and put them in some sort of a trance and they all go off into their own little demonic world hah.

I remember I used to make fun of people that wore SlipKnot shirts and stuff, but that's because I was an ignorant fool. I was so judgmental of everyone and everything. I need to start to take the time to do a bit of research or get to know people because I automatically judge them. It's not only rude, but just downright obnoxious for me to judge a stranger for their beliefs and their interests. For those who know me, you know that I can be a funn kid, but when I need to, I can be as serious as anyone out there. But to those who don't know me too well and only read my blog posts, you might think that I'm some wacko with bi-polar disorder. I suppose you have the right to your own opinion, but instead of automatically assuming you know everything about everything/everyone, take a minute to actually get to know what's going on.

I am a SlipKnot listening, basketball playing, music loving, caring, kind, funny, determined, well-spoken, tubby, korean student (There are obviously other things to me, but you gotta actually do some work and find out who I am for yourself)

Oh ya, I got into Baruch :) Finally... those jerks took their sweet ass time with it too. 4-6 weeks my ass... it was more like 9 week for me!

Well, it's time to get back to work... =\ I hope everyone enjoys this nice weather today! Hopefully, it'll stay this nice when I get outta work at 5

I'm tired

Just like the rest of you guys with your finals and stuff; I'm tired. But I'm not tired of studying, because I don't do any of that. In fact, I'm tired of never studying. I'm tired of always just "getting by." I'm tired of telling myself "good enough." I'm tired of others looking at me as if I am nothing. I'm tired of pretending it doesn't hurt. I'm tired of letting others put me down. I'm tired of surrounding myself with people that will bring me down. I'm tired of always being the nice guy. I'm tired of stating the obvious. I'm tired of lying. I'm tired of being your clown. I'm tired of being your doormat. I'm tired of saying "it's okay." I'm tired of feeling hopeless. I'm tired of never getting any help. I'm tired of people telling me "it could be worse." I'm tired of my lack of optimism. I'm tired of letting things get the best of me. I'm tired of constantly running through hoops. I'm tired of blaming it on bad luck. I'm tired of complaining. I'm tired of wishing. I'm tired of dreaming. I'm tired of hoping. I'm tired of keeping everything bottled up inside. I'm tired of not having anyone to talk to. I'm tired of being tired.

Where is my relief?

Feelin' Like a Million Bucks

The weather has been more or less good for the past month or so. During those nice days I tried to get outside and play basketball with some known acquaintances, but it just wasn't the same... I thought I had lost that love for basketball, lost the enthusiasm I had for the one thing I loved more than anything. But now I realize what was missing. It wasn't just that I loved the game of basketball, as it was my love for the connection I had with the people I played with.

The past month or so I have been playing, it was with people I have met playing basketball, none of whom were my actual friends, just people I've come to know on the courts playing basketball. Playing with these people turned out okay at best, but after a while, I lost interest in the game. Lost interest in playing with any of them. I just couldn't understand how these guys were having so much fun... I mean, I probably loved the game more than any of these people combined, yet I'm here miserable and they are having the time of their lives. Then it hit me... they were with their friends. None of them came alone, or with just one other person; everyone rolled at least 5-deep (lol). That's how they were able to enjoy the day so much more than I could. Being with friends- whether they sucked at the game or not- made their day that much better. I finally realized this yesterday; that friends are the key to happiness.

After spending the weekend in the city, I came home Sunday morning for Mother's Day brunch with my family. After eating a crap-load of food, I fell asleep like a pig and woke up around 1:30pm and texted everyone I knew that was back home for a nice game of basketball. Not too many people were around yet, but I got to play with kids I haven't seen in a while- Jeff, Jin, Chris and Young. In the beginning it was alright, just another day of basketball, same as always. But as we got into our 4th, 5th, 6th game... I realized it was different. I was actually enjoying it, regardless of the outcome of each game, I was having fun!

Sure, Jin wasn't able to guard Young (who drained about 12 three's) which may have lost the game. Sure Jeff had butterfingers all day lol. Sure, I played like a 12 year old and got blocked (by Chris) about 8 times. But I wasn't once upset over any of that. Normally, if I played in Tenafly or Harrington Park and got blocked even once, I'd be so pissed. And if some idiot on my team cost us the game, I'd be so frustrated and never let that kid back on my team. But yesterday was different, and it's because of the people I got to spend time with. The connection I had with these people while playing was something I was missing since winter break. Getting blocked and laughing about it brought a feeling of ease rather than angst, and even though Jin was on my team, watching him struggling to guard Young and his three-pointers was just hilarious!

Looking back to some of my earlier entries about how difficult life is, how empty I felt, or just how I was always down, seem to make sense now. I was feeling down all the time because I was missing that connection with my friends. Communication via AIM, or Facebook is one thing, but lacking that physical connection with people had made me crazy. I guess friends are what keeps me in one piece, they are what keeps me sane. I just can't wait till everyone is back for the summer. I think this might be that big pick-me-up I've been waiting for...

And to those of you who are back home for summer break. Welcome back! Lets play ball :)

500 Days of Summer

What could you possible do in a situation like that? You fall for a girl but she doesn't believe in Love, and the last thing she wants to do is find it. Everyone will probably go through a situation like this at least once in their lives. We live in a world with free speech, and where we are encouraged to be independent thinkers; some will want to fall in love, willfully searching for love. This also leaves others to simply turn the other cheek when love approaches.

He loves her, but she doesn't. She loves him, but love is just not in his vocabulary. Unrequited love? We often think of unrequited love as love that is not returned, one person loves another but the other doesn't reciprocate the love. This then leads us to believe that there cannot be a relationship with love that is unrequited, but this is false.

Love can indeed be unrequited in a relationship. Unrequited love is simply when "The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections." So looking at it with an open mind, unrequited love can exist within a relationship. One person loves the other, but the other is just unaware of the deep affections. The beloved who is unaware may be in the relationship for a completely different reason than the lover. Realizing this must be devastating... imagine giving everything you have into the relationship, only to have it go unnoticed by your beloved. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship, but it does happen and everyone will inevitably go through it.

No point in getting down over the realization of this circumstance, rather look beyond the situation and plan ahead; how will things go from here? Are you willing to give it 150% and gain the love of your beloved? Or did it take you too long to realize this and you have no more fuel in the tank?

If you're willing to go that extra mile to vie for that love, then good. If you're running on an empty tank, maybe it's time to get out and walk. Maybe you'll find someone that'll give you some fuel to fill that tank up (yeah, I'm really riding out this whole car-fuel-tank-analogy lol).

On the brighter side, maybe by the time you realize you've been a doormat, he/she will come around and things will start evening out. So if you're in a relationship where the love is not returned, just keep your head up and try to stay positive. Love will find its way somehow.

Oh and as for the movie... I can't wait for it! lol

Sifting Through the Bullsh*t

Why is it that people feel the need to hide who they really are? I've come across so many nasty people that hide behind such a beautiful facade. From the outside, he/she appears to be pure, kindhearted and warm. But lift the mask (or the 4 inches of make-up) to reveal the true beast within...

Often called a "tool," these individuals will just about say/do anything they need to befriend you. It's quite a show once you discover one and decide to exploit it. The reasoning behind decisions made by these despondent creatures is unknown, and we can only speculate the basis of their actions.

I can only speculate that these people just hate themselves enough to want to be somebody else. Someone who says something, just to make others laugh. Someone who does something to gain the attention of others. I mean, if you really have the motivation to do it, anything is possible right? Maybe he/she really hates him/herself that much to vie for the perfect guise. A unique disguise that will intrigue, mystify and lure any unsuspecting victim.

But you can't fool me... because I grew up in the valley, and growing up with these sad individuals helped me better spot them out in the wild. If you know one fake person, then you know them all. There isn't much to these creatures, you go through a handful of them and you'll be spotting them out like a pro.

Insufficient Funds

There is going to be a major slow down in blog entries for the next few weeks (hopefully weeks, not months) because my computer at home broke :( [I'll post entries up from what I write at work or when I'm at school, or the little time I may have with my dad's laptop when he's not using it.]

I am currently saving up for a new laptop and, sadly I only have saved up maybe 1/4 of what I need. I'm probably the worst at saving money... EVER. I started working 2 years ago with a single goal in mind: To Buy a Laptop.

2 years later, I have about $400 saved up for this new laptop lol. Hopefully by the time I have enough for a new laptop, Apple will introduce a super-laptop and I won't ever need to replace it.

If you guys are really itching for more entries and want to donate money, you can send it over to me via paypal. Any amount would be great! :) *

*I know I won't get anything, but I guess it's worth a try haha...

Thanks!

LIFE IS HARD

I've been at it 20 years now, and it's still like a kick in the mouth. I don't know what it is; maybe I'm just naive, and I wake up expecting life to be easy or something, but everyday it's like drinking a glass of sour milk in the morning. It's always the same carton of milk, but I keep thinking "maybe today it'll be okay."

There have been many times in my life where I just wanted to call it quits. I guess that makes me weak. 20 years in and already calling it quits? But lately I can't help but feel like I'm walking towards a wall. Everything may appear fine and dandy; clear blue skies and luscious green grass, but just ahead of me stands a great big wall ready to stop me at my tracks. I want to avoid this wall of course, but I can't get off this conveyor belt.

Writing seems to be the only remedy to the blues. I guess it's because as I sit here typing away, the keyboard isn't going to tell me that I'm boring, and to change the subject. The monitor isn't going to turn itself off (my computer might, because my computer is as old as balls and keeps turning off on me lately) and say "cry me a river." But the state of melancholy that I have recently been in is slowly building a tolerance to this remedy of writing. I am running out of things to do, things to keep my mind wandering long enough to forget about the struggles.

I used to think it was luck. I was just an unlucky kid, no matter what I did, my misfortunes would kick me in the ass. Then I thought maybe it was karma. Maybe all those childhood years of being a malevolent jackass has finally caught up to me. I believed this so much that I remember for about a month or two, I went to all those I had wronged and apologized, asking for forgiveness- it didn't work.

Some people might mention seeking the aid of a higher power. Trust in Christ and have faith and he will save me. But, I'm not going to just start praying to God to help me get over this. "Help me with ____ and I will worship you forever." That mentality seems so played out- so fake. I don't want to subject myself to that.

So what can I do? A friend once said to me "its a little bit better/greener when you have a partner in crime." Implying that things are better when you've got that significant other. And yes, it's better. I wouldn't know what I'd do if I didn't have someone like Carol to help me through some of the stuff I go through. But at the same time, there is only so much she can do for me. I think I've reached that point where I am officially lost.

I don't know where I am, how I got here, and I definitely have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing. I think I know where I want to go, and I have an idea of how to get there. But where do I begin? Now... I'm not expecting anyone to hold my hand and guide me through life, that's definitely not what I am implying. I guess, like most of my blog entries, I'm just stating the obvious. That life isn't all about shits and giggles. It's about hard work- dedication, commitment and will power. And if you don't got that... then peace. Because you don't got what it takes to live.

And for those who actually might have a smidgen of a soul and care about me... don't worry, I'm not gonna kill myself. And I think I can go without having 15 people trying to give me life lessons. I just wanted to write this for me. Maybe-hopefully, one day I can look back on this thing and see how much of an idiot I was. Depressed over such sophomoric things. Maybe I can look back on this when I'm older, maybe when I'm a little more successful and see that during what I believed to have been the worst times in my life, I was never completely in the darkness. That the light at the end of the tunnel is always present, and all it takes to get out of it is a little motivation, a little dedication, and a nice hard slap in the face.

Face... meet Hand. Hand... say hello to Face