Unacceptable

Is it really that wrong for a man to show a little emotion? Do all men have to be the burly, hairy, deep-voiced, cigar-chomping, sword-wielding, battle-crying, emotion-less type for girls/guys to accept them?

I'll admit, that I am one of the few guys that likes to express my emotions (This is apparent from just reading a few of my previous entries). Due to the fact that I am such an emotional guy, especially one that likes to divulge these emotions, I do get a lot of negative criticism from guys and girls... What I don't get is; why can't a man ask to be loved? Is it really that much of a turn off for girls when a man yearns for a woman's comfort? For a man to desire a woman to actually say "I Miss You". For a guy to want to hear from his woman "I love you"?

Okay, well this is going nowhere so I'll say this; I'm that guy. I'm the guy that wants to hear "I miss you." I'm the guy that wants needs to be loved. I'm the guy that goes head over heels for a girl. I'm the guy that wants to tell the world that he's found the one. I'm the guy that gives it his all for her. I'm that guy. So if you have a problem with me... F*CK OFF

Top 5: Ways to Show You're a Gentleman

What kind of girl would fall for the self-centered slob from the pub? A real lady needs a real gentleman. Gentlemen, for centuries have been praised upon by women and men alike. Women want to be with gentlemen and men want to be gentlemen. Some guys think they know what it takes to be a gentleman; show a little attention to her and open a few doors for her and boom, you're a gentleman... I don't think so. What most men do to become gentlemen, like talking about sentimental topics, or having "girl talks" only makes them gentle men. Well here are some pointers on differentiating between the gentle man and the gentleman. Follow these steps, and you will be on your merry way to becoming a real gentleman.



1. The umbrella

Sometimes the umbrella is just not big enough to cover both of you completely. In this case, a gentleman would obviously lean the umbrella towards his lady friend. Guys, getting a little wet won't kill you, if anything it'll get you some extra points for later that night when she sees that you sacrificed a shoulder for her to be nice and dry. A true gentleman is always thinking two steps ahead.

2. Walking on the sidewalk

Most men don't know this, but making sure the woman is on the inside of the sidewalk is crucial. Don't ever let her walk closest to the street where cars are driving. Holding her hands will make her feel safe, but make sure you let her know, if there is any danger, she is farthest from it. And if there was any imminent danger from the street, you are there to protect her. Attention to minor details such as this is what distinguishes a gentleman from a gentle man.

3. The towels

Again, the gentleman is always keen on details. When a woman steps out of the shower, you should be there to hand the towels to her. I say towels and not towel because a woman needs two towels. We men just use one big towel but, we don't have those lovely long locks like Rapunzel. A woman needs a towel to dry her body and another one to wrap around her hair. Details gentlemen, details!



4. Offer your jacket

The weather seems a bit more chilly than what the weather said, and your lady friend really seems to be feeling the wind chill. No worries! Because she is with a gentleman, and he is not afraid of the cold. Offer your jacket, but NEVER let her know that you may be cold. Don't show her any signs of the weather getting to you, and don't remind her of the weather. Simply let her know you are okay, and make sure she is warm, that's all you care about.

5. Introduce her

When attending a social gathering, its your duty as a gentleman to introduce your lady friend to the rest of the crowd. It's not about flaunting her, but more about letting her feel comfortable. Having her stand next to you while you talk to your friends is rude and very disrespectful. She doesn't need to be treated like a trophy that you carry around. Make her feel comfortable, let your friends be her friends. Briefly introduce her to the others, making sure she is physically included in the conversation.

The Lazy Roadblock

There are multiple phases in a relationship. There is the beginning phase, where one has to initiate the relationship and both must work to begin the lasting relationship. There may be gifts involved; flowers, candy... the works. This is a very exciting phase, very fun and new. There is no expectation, no pressure and no hesitation involved, only adoration and dedication. This phase is quite simple and most people understand that hard-work is a requirement for this stage.

Then we move into phase 2, which is a bit more tricky. This is the part where two people become intimate and start to feel comfortable with each other. Some people see this phase as a freebie, a stage where both partners can set their relationship on cruise-control and feel the breeze in their hair. WRONG! This is a critical phase in a relationship and here's why.

As a guy, being comfortable with a girl is the greatest feeling ever. Having someone you love be a best friend to share all your secrets with, and to talk to her about anything is a wonderful feeling. But there is a fine line between being comfortable and being lazy.

Most girls will find their mates to be lazy in this phase. The guy might start dressing differently; she will see a little less of his nice jeans and shirts, and a little more of his sweat pants and hooded sweatshirts. She will begin to analyze his actions which may seem lazy to her. Calling/texting her only twice a day, rather than every hour or so from phase one.

Whilst the girl is seeing this in her man, the man is simply in a phase of comfort. Maybe he will call her less when she's out because he trusts her. Maybe he will dress a little differently because he wants to show that it's okay for her to let her hair down too.

Obviously, the juxtaposition of the two ideas creates a conflict between the two partners. It's hard to pinpoint when this situation occurs in phase two, but its important to know the resolution; communication.

Yes, it sounds very cliche; "communication is key to a healthy relationship." But it's true! How will she ever know that he's not being lazy if she doesn't give him a chance to explain his new- unattractive- behaviors? How will he ever understand her coldness towards him if he doesn't ask?

By talking about the situation and the changes that have occurred in the relationship, both partners can properly access the problems infront of them. If the guy seems to be lazy, he needs to remember that he needs to show her as much love as he did in phase one, that just being in a relationship doesn't mean the showering of love needs to stop. He could use a little reminder himself that she is his beloved and that he would do anything for her.

She would understand that the guy's expression of comfortability is a bit odd. Then she would begin to accept his actions and understand that his motives were not to be faineant. Maybe this way, she will realize that maybe she is expecting too much from him and come to terms that she is not in the relationship for the things he did for her, but simply out of adoration for him.

So in this difficult and tricky stage of the relationship, communication is crucial. Take the time to sit down and talk it out. Don't do anything irrational, calm yourself, keep your head up, be optimistic, give each other the benefit of the doubt, and talk it out! Always remember; there IS a phase 3. Don't be lazy, and make reaching the next phase both your goals.

500 Days of Summer

What could you possible do in a situation like that? You fall for a girl but she doesn't believe in Love, and the last thing she wants to do is find it. Everyone will probably go through a situation like this at least once in their lives. We live in a world with free speech, and where we are encouraged to be independent thinkers; some will want to fall in love, willfully searching for love. This also leaves others to simply turn the other cheek when love approaches.

He loves her, but she doesn't. She loves him, but love is just not in his vocabulary. Unrequited love? We often think of unrequited love as love that is not returned, one person loves another but the other doesn't reciprocate the love. This then leads us to believe that there cannot be a relationship with love that is unrequited, but this is false.

Love can indeed be unrequited in a relationship. Unrequited love is simply when "The beloved may or may not be aware of the admirer's deep affections." So looking at it with an open mind, unrequited love can exist within a relationship. One person loves the other, but the other is just unaware of the deep affections. The beloved who is unaware may be in the relationship for a completely different reason than the lover. Realizing this must be devastating... imagine giving everything you have into the relationship, only to have it go unnoticed by your beloved. It sounds like an unhealthy relationship, but it does happen and everyone will inevitably go through it.

No point in getting down over the realization of this circumstance, rather look beyond the situation and plan ahead; how will things go from here? Are you willing to give it 150% and gain the love of your beloved? Or did it take you too long to realize this and you have no more fuel in the tank?

If you're willing to go that extra mile to vie for that love, then good. If you're running on an empty tank, maybe it's time to get out and walk. Maybe you'll find someone that'll give you some fuel to fill that tank up (yeah, I'm really riding out this whole car-fuel-tank-analogy lol).

On the brighter side, maybe by the time you realize you've been a doormat, he/she will come around and things will start evening out. So if you're in a relationship where the love is not returned, just keep your head up and try to stay positive. Love will find its way somehow.

Oh and as for the movie... I can't wait for it! lol

A Euphoric Mirage

I remember when I was little, I swore to myself I'd never get married. I'd never feel lonely as long as I had my Power Ranger action figures. Then, maybe a decade later, I decided that I wanted to get married, and be the best husband ever. I know, I know... a complete 180-degree turn, but I'm sure we all went through this as a child. I had an idea of what a good husband/boyfriend was, I guess from watching TV shows and hearing stories. So now, screw power rangers! I just want to be the best boyfriend/husband ever! I wanted to love another to the best of one's abilities!

I always wanted to buy my girlfriend flowers. I would see that kind of stuff on TV, and the girl receiving the flowers was always ecstatic to receive flowers. I didn't really understand why girls liked flowers so much, I never really thought it was a big deal, but whatever makes them happy I suppose. And for some reason, at a young age, I learned that there is a big difference between simply buying the flowers from a shop on the way home, and picking up some flowers from a park or a notarized florist two towns away, and that girls somehow knew the difference.

I also always wanted to make breakfast in the morning before I leave, for my significant other. I remember seeing (probably from a drama) the guy making food and leaving it out on the table/desk for the girl when she wakes up. But a good boyfriend doesn't just leave the food there. He's gotta make sure to cover that baby up so no dust gets on it. Also make sure the kitchen is clean and the sink is empty so when the girl is done eating, she has little to no work to do. He also leaves a cute little note with the meal. Probably saying something about how peaceful the girl looked while sleeping so he didn't have the heart to wake her from her slumber. I am the type of person that needs to witness the fruits of my labor. I can't possibly leave a delicious meal hoping she will eat it and enjoy it. Maybe I could hide in her closet and wait till she wakes up to enjoy the meal... then sneak out somehow afterward.

A good boyfriend should also know how to cook up a mean steak. I don't remember where I got this from, probably just from watching my parents. But I feel like a man needs to be able to make a good steak. Give man fire, and meat, and he shall conjure a meal fit for the Gods.

I always pictured taking my girl to a nice clean park on a sunny day, where the grass is as green as it gets. Sit on a blanket under the biggest oak tree by a big open lake and share stories while eating homemade sandwiches, maybe play the guitar and sing for the girl as she sits back and admires my singing.

My most recent desire was to be filthy rich. I want to make so much money that my girlfriend's/wife's shopping-spree can turn into a weekly event. If she wants to shop, then by all means.. shop till you drop!

I also always envisioned being so much smarter than the girl. Not implying I wanted to date a stupid girl, or girls are stupid. I mean, I always wanted the girl to look up to me. I wanted my girlfriend to look to me for information, whether it was about quantum physics or how to fold a paper-airplane. I wanted teach her new and amazing places or things. Help her open her eyes to the world and discover new challenges.

I always wanted to somehow get a room filled with candles with a table for two in the middle of the room. A nice tall candle in the middle, and a rose. The meal... of course, would be a Steak fit for the Gods! Haha! And for dessert, a nice custom made cake, or a little cupcake.

I've had these visions for maybe the past 10 years? And I'm finally starting to realize why these things only happen in TV dramas or movies... because realistically, its very difficult to achieve these things. And if it does come true, its one of those rare occasions, and that guy is the perfect catch for any girl. Because if you've got a guy who's able to do ALL this... then you've got yourself the "cutest," richest, smartest, most caring guy with A LOT of time on his hands. I'm starting to realize now, these weren't goals. These were euphoric visions of my childhood desires. In the real world, as young adults, we all know what it is we want. But we also understand that what we want is not necessarily what we can have. Every girl wants a guy like this, but is every guy capable of delivering such happiness? Call me a pessimist, or call me lazy, but I am starting to think that this childhood desire, was just a mere euphoric mirage, and this hazy vision is finally starting to clear up. Now I finally see that these aren't what bring people together. A fat juicy steak does not invoke love. Nor does a breakfast in bed help flourish a new found admiration between two people.

It's the minute things in a relationship that brings two people together, and keeps them together. It's about making each other laugh during those morose times. It's about being there for each other when one is ill. It's about being able to share anything. It's about being the shoulder to cry on. It's about knowing when to say "I Love You." Cooking for her, planning a picnic, or buying her flowers shouldn't be the only thing to do to show someone you care. These ideas were absolutely childish of me to concoct, and now I finally see the truth. The euphoric mirage of my childish desires have faded and the truth appears before me today... I just hope it's not too late.