Feelin' Like a Million Bucks

The weather has been more or less good for the past month or so. During those nice days I tried to get outside and play basketball with some known acquaintances, but it just wasn't the same... I thought I had lost that love for basketball, lost the enthusiasm I had for the one thing I loved more than anything. But now I realize what was missing. It wasn't just that I loved the game of basketball, as it was my love for the connection I had with the people I played with.

The past month or so I have been playing, it was with people I have met playing basketball, none of whom were my actual friends, just people I've come to know on the courts playing basketball. Playing with these people turned out okay at best, but after a while, I lost interest in the game. Lost interest in playing with any of them. I just couldn't understand how these guys were having so much fun... I mean, I probably loved the game more than any of these people combined, yet I'm here miserable and they are having the time of their lives. Then it hit me... they were with their friends. None of them came alone, or with just one other person; everyone rolled at least 5-deep (lol). That's how they were able to enjoy the day so much more than I could. Being with friends- whether they sucked at the game or not- made their day that much better. I finally realized this yesterday; that friends are the key to happiness.

After spending the weekend in the city, I came home Sunday morning for Mother's Day brunch with my family. After eating a crap-load of food, I fell asleep like a pig and woke up around 1:30pm and texted everyone I knew that was back home for a nice game of basketball. Not too many people were around yet, but I got to play with kids I haven't seen in a while- Jeff, Jin, Chris and Young. In the beginning it was alright, just another day of basketball, same as always. But as we got into our 4th, 5th, 6th game... I realized it was different. I was actually enjoying it, regardless of the outcome of each game, I was having fun!

Sure, Jin wasn't able to guard Young (who drained about 12 three's) which may have lost the game. Sure Jeff had butterfingers all day lol. Sure, I played like a 12 year old and got blocked (by Chris) about 8 times. But I wasn't once upset over any of that. Normally, if I played in Tenafly or Harrington Park and got blocked even once, I'd be so pissed. And if some idiot on my team cost us the game, I'd be so frustrated and never let that kid back on my team. But yesterday was different, and it's because of the people I got to spend time with. The connection I had with these people while playing was something I was missing since winter break. Getting blocked and laughing about it brought a feeling of ease rather than angst, and even though Jin was on my team, watching him struggling to guard Young and his three-pointers was just hilarious!

Looking back to some of my earlier entries about how difficult life is, how empty I felt, or just how I was always down, seem to make sense now. I was feeling down all the time because I was missing that connection with my friends. Communication via AIM, or Facebook is one thing, but lacking that physical connection with people had made me crazy. I guess friends are what keeps me in one piece, they are what keeps me sane. I just can't wait till everyone is back for the summer. I think this might be that big pick-me-up I've been waiting for...

And to those of you who are back home for summer break. Welcome back! Lets play ball :)